Guide to French Wedding Customs and Etiquette

France is known for its rich cultural heritage; French weddings are no exception. They blend tradition, elegance, and romance, creating a unique and memorable experience for all involved. Understanding French wedding customs and etiquette can enhance your experience and ensure you adhere to local traditions. Here’s a detailed guide:

Gift-Giving Traditions

Wedding Gifts

Monetary Gifts: In France, it is customary for guests to give money as a wedding gift. This tradition, known as “La Quête,” involves guests contributing to a communal fund, often collected in a decorative box or birdcage at the reception. The amount can vary, but it’s typical to give between €50-€200 per guest, depending on your relationship with the couple.
Gift Registries: Some couples may have a gift registry. If so, it is polite to choose a gift from the list. Registries can include items for the home, experiences, or even contributions to the honeymoon fund.
Personal Gifts: If you prefer to give a personal gift, consider something meaningful or culturally significant. French artisanal products, fine wines, or luxury items are appreciated.

Thank-You Notes

Couples typically send thank-you notes within a few months after the wedding, expressing their gratitude for the presence and gifts of their guests.
Attire for Guests

Dress Code

Formal Attire: French weddings are generally formal events. Men are expected to wear suits and ties, while women should opt for elegant dresses or skirts with blouses.
Colours to Avoid: Traditionally, white is reserved for the bride, so avoid wearing white or shades too close to it. Black, while more acceptable in recent years, is still often associated with mourning, so it’s best to choose another colour unless specified otherwise by the couple.
Seasonal Considerations: Consider the season and venue when selecting your attire. Summer weddings might call for lighter fabrics and more vibrant colours, while winter weddings may require warmer, more subdued tones.
Hats and Accessories: Hats are not commonly worn at French weddings, but tasteful accessories such as fascinators can be appropriate. Minimal, elegant jewellery is preferred.

French Wedding Customs

Ceremony

Civil Ceremony: By law, all weddings in France must include a civil ceremony at the town hall (Mairie). This is usually a small, intimate affair attended by close family and friends. The civil ceremony is conducted by the mayor or a local official and is the legally binding part of the wedding.
Religious Ceremony: Many couples also choose to have a religious ceremony following the civil one. This can be held in a church or another place of worship. The religious ceremony is not legally binding but holds significant cultural and personal value.
Walking down the Aisle: In France as well as the Bride being walked down the aisle by her Father, the Groom will first walk his Mother down the aisle as a way to honour the Mother and Son relationship.
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen: French weddings do not traditionally include bridesmaids or groomsmen, instead they will have a couple of witnesses who will stand with them in the photographs. This may change as more popular wedding customs from other countries become more commercial.

Reception

Vin d’Honneur: After the ceremony, a cocktail hour known as the “Vin d’Honneur” is held. This is typically a stand-up affair with drinks and hors d’oeuvres and is open to all wedding guests, including those not invited to the formal dinner.
Wedding Meal: The wedding meal, or “le repas de noces,” is a multi-course feast featuring gourmet dishes and fine wines. It can last several hours, with speeches, toasts, and entertainment interspersed between courses.
Dancing: Dancing is a key part of the reception. Either the Bride and Groom will open the dance floor or the Bride will have her first dance with her Father before he hands her to the Groom. Guests are expected to join in and enjoy the festivities and can expect the dancing to continue well into the next morning.

Cultural Etiquette

Greetings: It is customary to greet guests with a kiss on both cheeks (la bise). Depending on which region you are in this is usually one kiss on each cheek, but in some parts of France, it can be up to 3 or 4 times. La Bise is an extremely important part of French culture and is practiced by all even if you are strangers.
Speeches: Speeches are an integral part of French weddings. They are usually given by close family members and friends. If asked to speak, keep it heartfelt, concise, and considerate of both families.
Departure: It is polite to thank the hosts and say goodbye to the couple before leaving. It’s also customary to sign a guest book with a personal message.

Additional Tips

Timing

French weddings often start later in the day, with ceremonies around 4-5 PM, followed by an evening reception that can go on until the early hours of the morning.

RSVPs

Promptly respond to invitations, ideally within two weeks of receiving them. French invitations usually come with an RSVP card and a stamped return envelope for convenience.

Accommodation

If traveling from abroad, consider staying nearby the venue. Many couples provide recommendations for local hotels or guesthouses. Booking early is advisable, especially in popular wedding destinations.

By understanding and respecting these French wedding customs and etiquette, you can fully enjoy the experience and honour the traditions of your hosts. Whether you are attending as a guest or planning your own wedding in France, these insights will ensure a memorable and culturally rich celebration.