A few good stories. Your own words. A toast to them both.

To write a best man speech, introduce yourself, share one or two personal stories, say what you admire about the couple and finish with a clear toast. Agree the speaking time, write a draft and rehearse it aloud. Warmth and a recognisable memory will give you a strong starting point.

You do not have to become a comedian for the afternoon. The friends and family in the room want to hear why these people matter to you. This guide takes you from a blank page to an outline, an adaptable example and a plan for delivering your words.

A best man speech template you can personalise

Use these five parts as a flexible structure. Write a few sentences for each before polishing individual lines.

1. Introduce yourself and your connection
“I’m [name], and I’ve known [groom] since [how you met].” Give guests enough context to understand the friendship or family relationship.
2. Tell a story that shows his character
“One moment that sums up [name] for me is…” Choose a specific memory that reveals a quality you admire. Include enough detail for people who were not there.
3. Bring in the couple
“What I love about you two together is…” Use something you have noticed about their relationship. Address both partners and use the names and terms they prefer.
4. Share a wish for their marriage
“I hope the years ahead bring you…” Keep it personal and brief. You can offer congratulations without turning the speech into marriage advice.
5. Invite the room to join the toast
“Please join me in raising a glass to [name] and [name].” Pause, raise your glass and let the guests respond.

Add any agreed messages or thanks where they fit. Ask the couple what is already covered by other speakers so you do not repeat a long list of acknowledgements.

How long should a best man speech be?

Agree your slot with the couple or person coordinating the wedding reception. As a starting point, plan a speech of around three to five minutes and adjust it to their schedule. Debrett’s recommends aiming for no more than five minutes.

Word count is only a drafting aid. A 500-word script takes four minutes at 125 words a minute, before extra pauses for laughter or applause. Time yourself speaking naturally rather than speeding up to fit more material in. If the speech runs long, cut a story or repeated point.

When does the best man speak?

The traditional UK sequence is father of the bride, groom, then best man. Your wedding may include a bride’s speech, a mother, maid of honour, other relatives or joint speeches. Confirm the actual order and your cue with the couple, toastmaster or venue coordinator.

Agree the main stories and any shared thanks with the other speakers. You can avoid repeating material without exchanging every word of your drafts. Check whether speeches happen before, during or after the wedding breakfast, and tell the venue if you need a microphone or other equipment.

How to turn memories into a personal speech

Choose the point you want guests to remember

Write down three qualities you associate with the groom: perhaps kindness, determination, generosity or the ability to find fun in an ordinary day. Then list a memory that demonstrates each one. Pick the story you can explain clearly and would feel comfortable telling with the couple beside you.

A useful anecdote has a setting, something that happens and a reason it matters. Instead of saying your friend is dependable, describe the time he turned up to help when it would have been easier to stay at home.

Make the story work for the whole audience

Explain who people are and remove details that only a small group of friends will understand. A story does not need every date, detour or nickname. Keep the moment that shows the person you know, then connect it to what you want to say about him.

Try these prompts before reaching for a list of jokes:

  • When did this person make a difficult day better?
  • Which small habit would friends and family recognise immediately?
  • What have you learnt from your friendship?
  • When have you seen the couple bring out something good in each other?

Include both partners

The speech can begin with your friendship, then widen to celebrate the couple. Talk about a shared interest, a thoughtful gesture or a moment when you saw how comfortable they were together. Compliments about character and the relationship give you more to say than appearance alone.

If you do not know the other partner well, be honest about what you have observed. Ask the couple or a trusted friend for background, and check a story before using it. Avoid inventing a first meeting or repeating something private simply because it would make a good anecdote.

Smiling couple outdoors, with the woman riding on the man’s back
A small, familiar moment can show the couple’s relationship more clearly than a general compliment.

A short best man speech example

This original example uses fictional names and events to show how the structure fits together. Replace the details with your own experiences and adapt the length to your agreed slot. Do not present these invented memories as your own.

Good afternoon, everyone. I’m Jamie, and I’ve been friends with Alex since our first job together. On my first day, he showed me where to find the kettle, how to fix the printer and which meeting room we were actually supposed to be in. It was a useful introduction to Alex: he notices when someone needs a hand.

That was particularly helpful when I moved into a fourth-floor flat with no lift. I had described it as “a couple of boxes”. Alex arrived to find what looked like the contents of a small department store. He looked at the staircase, looked at me and asked one question: “Which box has the biscuits?”

He spent the afternoon carrying furniture, finding missing screws and making a difficult job feel manageable. By the end, I had a bed I could sleep in and a friend who had every right to stop answering my calls. Fortunately for me, he didn’t.

Sam, one of my favourite things about watching you two together is how much fun you find in ordinary days. At a picnic last summer, Alex had checked the weather, planned the route and brought enough food for twice as many people. You spotted a better place to sit, persuaded him to put the plan away, and had him laughing before anyone had unpacked a sandwich.

You both look out for people, and you make each other feel at home. Seeing the friends and family gathered here today, it is clear how much that kindness means to everyone around you.

Alex, I’m proud to stand beside you. Sam, I’m so glad our friendship now includes you too. I wish you a marriage full of laughter, good company and the sort of support you already give each other so freely.

Everyone, please join me in raising a glass to Alex and Sam. To you both.

Why it works: the introduction explains the friendship, the moving-day story demonstrates kindness, and the picnic brings in the other partner. A little humour comes from the situation. The ending addresses both people and gives the audience a clear invitation to toast.

Best man speech openings and gentle humour

A straightforward introduction is enough to begin. If a joke suits your voice, use one that helps the audience recognise the person you are describing. You can be funny without making someone the target of an uncomfortable revelation.

These invented opening examples show three approaches; use the idea only if it fits something true about your relationship:

  • Simple and warm: “I’m [name], [groom]’s brother. I’ve had the privilege of knowing him all my life, and today gives me a chance to say a few things I probably should have said sooner.”
  • A familiar habit: “[Name] has never arrived for a walk without a weather forecast and a backup route. Our plans have rarely needed rescuing; that is usually because he got there first.”
  • Shared history: “We met when neither of us knew what we were doing. We have since become much better at asking each other for help.”

Read each line aloud. If you would never say it in conversation, rewrite it. A brother’s speech, a best friend’s speech and a joint speech will naturally sound different.

What should you leave out?

Remove sexual material, ex-partner stories, private disclosures and jokes about sensitive personal circumstances. Avoid humour that humiliates the groom, bride, partner or another guest. If you are unsure about a story, ask permission or choose another.

Test the speech with someone who will give honest feedback, ideally someone outside the group who knows every anecdote. Ask whether they understood the story, whether any line felt unkind and where their attention drifted.

Couple in wedding attire holding drinks with their hands against their faces, against a pink background
Choose stories the couple will enjoy hearing in front of their guests.

Practise your delivery and plan for nerves

Rehearse the speech you will actually give

Read the complete draft aloud, record yourself and time it. Mark places to pause, check that names are easy to pronounce and cut sentences that are awkward to say. Toastmasters recommends preparing and rehearsing a personal, audience-appropriate toast.

Practise with the notes you will use on the day. A printed script, numbered cue cards or a few prompts can all work. Use a large font and clear spacing so you can find the next line quickly. If you use your phone, save an offline copy, silence notifications and have a paper backup.

Check the room and microphone

Ask the venue team where you will stand and how to hold or position the microphone. Test whether guests at the back can hear you. Rehearse handling your notes and glass so you are not trying to juggle everything at once.

Start at a comfortable pace, look up at the couple and different parts of the room, and pause when people laugh. Have water nearby and avoid relying on alcohol to steady your nerves.

If you lose your place or become emotional

Pause, breathe and look at your next paragraph or cue card. You can say, “Give me a moment to find my place,” then continue. If your voice catches, take a sip of water and allow yourself a moment. A pause does not undo the words you have already shared.

If a joke gets no response, move on to the next sentence. Resist explaining the punchline or criticising the audience. Knowing your final warm sentence and toast gives you somewhere clear to finish if you decide to shorten the speech.

Two men in suits embracing at an outdoor wedding reception, with one holding a microphone
Your words can be heartfelt without being polished to perfection. Leave yourself time to pause.

Your final best man speech checklist

Before the wedding

  • Confirm the speaking order, time allowance and any messages or thanks.
  • Introduce yourself and explain your connection to the groom.
  • Choose a personal story with a clear point.
  • Include both partners and check names and pronunciations.
  • Remove private, hurtful or confusing material.
  • Rehearse aloud with pauses and time the whole speech.
  • Prepare readable notes and a backup copy.

At the reception

  • Check your cue, standing position and microphone with the venue team.
  • Keep water and notes within reach.
  • Pause for laughter, applause or emotion.
  • Finish with the couple’s names and a clear toast.

For the jobs around the speech, see our groomsmen duties guide. Keep those arrangements in a separate plan so you can focus on speaking when your turn comes.

Wedding guests raising glasses together in front of a smiling bride and groom
End by naming the couple and inviting everyone to join the toast.

Common questions about best man speeches

Does a best man speech have to be funny?

No. A sincere story, a few specific compliments and a warm toast can make a complete speech. Include humour if it comes naturally, and give yourself permission to leave out a line that feels forced.

Who should the best man toast?

A clear ending is a toast to the newlyweds, using both names: “Please join me in raising a glass to Alex and Sam.” Guests can join with whatever drink they have. Any additional toasts or announcements should be agreed with the couple or coordinator.

Can you read your speech from paper?

Yes. Choose the form of notes that helps you speak clearly. Practise looking up between sentences and place the page where you can read it comfortably while using the microphone.

What if there are two best men or a best woman?

Agree whether you will speak together or separately and keep within the total time allocated. For a joint speech, divide the stories, write clear handovers and rehearse together. A best woman can use the same structure; use the titles and terms, such as husband, wife or partner, that fit the people involved.

Should you mention someone who has died?

Ask the couple privately before including a tribute or an absent loved one. They may want a brief acknowledgement, have another speaker covering it or prefer to remember that person elsewhere in the day.