How to write a best man speech

The best man’s speech is a great honour but of all the wedding day duties, it has the most pressure. Every eye will be on you, and more importantly their ears. There is a mild sense of relief for groomsmen not natural entertainers or confident in public speaking, as it is as highly anticipated as the first dance and throwing the bouquet.

The wittiest ones among us revel at the challenge that is delivering a best man speech. What is daunting for even the greatest orators, is that there are no retakes. You have to get it right the first time, the only shot at doing your best friend proud. So here’s my guide on how to write a best man speech worthy of the duty.

I have been in the audience to hear some of the worst best-man speeches you can imagine. The key to a memorable and great best man speech key is confidence and a good balance of stories and jokes. I’ve given two, both were nerve-wracking and frankly an embarrassment, so these tips are first hand advice.

First things first. You need to remember, this is not your day. This is not about you, this is about the bride and groom. Yes, the expectation will be a rip-roaring gag-fest. But this is not an open-mike comedy opportunity, you are a wedding ceremony participant.

Just be thankful, the Bride-Knights role in medieval times was to kidnap the bride. So having to address a crowd with a short speech and the best man’s toast to finish is easy by comparison.

One thing that the good ones have in common is that they are all spoken from the heart, yet prepared in advance. This post will give you a best man speech template to help you write your speech, and deliver it perfectly. Often easier when they are well structured with a natural pace and segmentation.

Remember the key to any public speaking is a slow pace of speech. There is no point penning gold, then rushing it so no one hears it (which is my issue as I’m a mumbler and fast talker).

Delivery is the most important vehicle of every joke, ensuring the laughter. But there is more to it than just wise cracks. You are there representing a great friend or brother.

Make your best man speech memorable for the right reasons. It’s a wedding toast, not a roast

The Speech Order at a Wedding

The traditional wedding speech order matters at the wedding reception. This will be an emotional rollercoaster and the best man always goes last to end on a high.

Firstly it’s the Father of the Bride. Typically this is about the love a father has for his daughter, usually some anecdote about something silly they did as a child. It will have the occasional joke, but mostly be a heartfelt declaration of lifetime adulation.

Then the Groom is up, which is in effect a very long thank you to everyone for coming. Modern times have seen the bride follow the Groom or they may do this together as it involves giving out wedding thank you gifts to show their appreciation.

Also, a newer phenomenon is the Chief Bridesmaid or Maid of Honour speech after this. The alternative to the Best Man, but for the Bride. This has disrupted the natural flow in my opinion, while I do understand it and all for equality. The main issue is they sometimes throw the popular jokes in, which if you have meticulously rehearsed can cause a problem if unexpected.

These speeches tend to be a bit more emotional about their relationship with the bride than the guys will normally do.  And could involve stories and anecdotes of when they first started dating you might have been planning Ultimately, be prepared for last-minute changes.

Where possible, try to confirm the speech running order so you can plan and agree topics in advance. Worse case ask at the rehearsal dinner if this is coming and try to see a copy of the bridesmaid’s speech beforehand and maybe check in with other members of the wedding party. The one who goes first gets to use all the best jokes, and I’d love to see a collaborative joint effort where different sides of the story is told.

Finally, be aware you might be a long way into the speeches for the audience who might be growing tired by the time you step up. An energiser opening will be required, so you need some tried and tested killer best man speech opening lines. Don’t gamble here, if you get it wrong it can be confidence shattering. And remember, guests will be looking at you for the laughter.

And to speak 1400 words at a reasonable speed is 10 minutes of constant speaking for the speech, which is your ideal maximum length of time unless you are brilliant speaker adept at entertaining storytelling to an audience.

Cheers to that, after the best man toast you can relax and celebrate

Best man speech ideas

The best place to start is always by considering some proven best man speech examples. While it is great to try out your own brand of wit and a funny story, this may not be the right platform for it.

Use your strengths, mostly that you know the groom intimately. If you are funny and charismatic, great. If not, sometimes it can seem forced and the jokes fall flat if not told with conviction.

Here are some ideas on what you can cover to get your creative juices flowing and follow the standard best man speech outline.

Get brownie points

To deliver an awesome best man speech, start off with a killer opening line or your standard “good evening ladies and gentlemen” and compliment the bride and bridesmaids how stunning they look, and everyone who has put effort into making the big day special. Offer your congratulations and stress what a privilege it was to be involved.

Thank the couple for having you on their special day and in their lives, and for the honour of your best man duties at their union of marriage celebration. Thank the Bride for trusting you to take the groom on his stag do, and promise to be there for them in life and on the dance floor.

That’s the pleasantries out the way. Now you have two potential paths. Get those jokes and ice-breakers in now, or keep things a bit more sombre.

Reminisce

As the best man, the wedding guests assume that your closeness to the bridegroom gives you some personal insight that they may not have. No one else will be able to steal this thunder from you, only you will be privy to how he was before he met his betrothed. There is always comedy in youthful follies and plenty of funny stories. But just leave ex-girlfriends out of this part of it can very cringe. There will be fun memories to recall and share.

But it’s not all embarrassing stories and poking fun. Brainstorm some stories that shine the groom in his finest light. What are the moments that you remember when you think of how amazing he is as a person? In each of these sentimental stories, you are looking for the heroic nature, as well as the humour to it. You are his wingman, you owe it to him to focus on what a great guy he is.

If you are not a natural comedian, you can fill time with quotes about love and how to have a successful marriage.

Got an insight about the early dating years worth sharing?

A story about the couple

How did you know she was the one for him? This is a winning formula for weddings. When do you think you knew that this was the right woman for your friend?

Write down some bullet points of that story and deliver it to a test audience. This can be your own partner or some of your other friends. What you are looking to observe is their immediate response as you deliver each sentence. Take note of the key lines that they clearly enjoyed. Do the same for the ones that fall flat, and considering cutting them or delivering a different way.

At the end of it, ask for feedback. To ensure that they do not spare you in their critique, you want to ask the following:

1. What did they enjoy the most about the story?
2. What did they not like about the story?
3. What did they like about your delivery? Was it too long and did you ramble?
4. What could be improved about the delivery?
5. If they could change anything about the story, what would it be?

Best man speech icebreaker and opener ideas

Wedding guests can be a hard audience to connect with, you’ve probably never met the bulk of them. Breaking the ice is to remove the tension. If your first few sentences are not quite right, you could lose the crowd for good. So when you do the smart thing and write your speech in advance, have a few cards of potential segue icebreakers in case of emergency.

Here are some easy icebreakers and opening lines to get you started on the right foot, and I’d always check with your test audience:

If the couple have been together a long time, blowing dust off your speech can get a few laughs.

Get an ice cube out of your drink, drop it to the floor and stamp on it. “Now we’ve broken the ice, lets move on”

Say you want to start with a quick two truths and a lie. List one obvious truth, a made up embarrassing fact about the groom, and then one bizarre fact that doesn’t sound true.

Good early lines (if not particularly unique) are:

• I’m here to tell you about {groom} and how amazing, special, good looking and… {look at groom}, I’m sorry mate, really struggling to read your handwriting here.
• To prepare for this speech, I Googled the perfect best man speech. Unfortunately, you had to pay to read them, so I decided to wing it instead.
• It was a toss up between [Groomsman] and I who did the speech. As you can see I lost.
• Weddings are amazing, it’s when two people come together and proclaim that out of the millions of people out there, this is the best man in the world {point to self}
• I’m very happy to be part of the only 5 minutes that the Bride didn’t plan out meticulously.
• I’ve just been asked not to cover any embarrassing stories about the groom, so there goes most of my speech. Thanks for coming everyone.{sit down}
• I was told the speech should be like the grooms performance in bed, so get ready for a let down.
• Thanks for coming as it wouldn’t be the same without you. Probably be a lot cheaper though.
• For those of you who can’t hear me at the back, the complete silence in the front row will tell you’re really not missing much.
• Those of you that know me, know that I’m not big on making speeches {sit down}
• Ladies and gentlemen before I start the venue owner has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

Best man’s speech jokes

Unless you know the crowd, sexual jokes tend to be an area to avoid in best man speeches. It should be kid and grandma friendly, and both will have their parents there who could take offence.

You can refer to the groom’s appearance, seeing he is your friend. You may under no circumstances negatively comment on the bride’s looks or bring up ex-girlfriends. Any risky jokes should be directed at other guests, preferably those that you have a good rapport with and know it’s coming.

There are plenty of funny best man speech jokes available if you research. You can use props to be unique and make it memorable and deliver a great toast with comedy. A cardboard cut out of the groom as a young man might be a great visual comedy and also lead nicely into a story, while opening up a world that no-one really knows.

The only advice I would give you is to ensure that they are not ones that everyone has heard before. You don’t want other guests to finish off jokes for you. Although some of the classics and one liners are repeated for a reason.

The best joke at one of the many weddings I’ve been to was delivered to perfection in an emotional Father of the Bride speech. Playing the confused and forgetful angle, he mentioned that the Bride was off to Wales for the Honeymoon. After she corrected him he acted even more confused, and followed up that he was sure he overheard the Groom telling the Best Man “he was going to Bangor all weekend”. The delivery was so perfect even for an often repeated joke, it took a few seconds to drop due to who was saying it.

Anyway, here are some of our favourites:

1. We all know the bride deserves the perfect guy. Well, it’s too bad that you don’t always get what you deserve.
2. When I saw {bride} came down the aisle, I think we all agreed she looked amazing and {groom} is punching.
3. Knowing the groom as I do, I can first off assure you that {bride} is definitely with him for his money, because it can’t be for his personality.
4. The father of the bride mentioned early how quickly time flies and that it seemed only yesterday he was putting his daughter to be with a dummy. Well, funny how life repeats itself as she’s still taking a dummy to bed later.
5. Before meeting {bride}, {groom} was single by choice. Not his choice admittedly…..
6. Before {bride} met {Groom}, he had hit Dwayne’s Johnsons behind. Yes, he had officially hit rock’s bottom.

The best advice on how to write and deliver any speech is that context and pace are everything. Make sure you get the message across as clearly as possible without rushing, or the jokes and poignancy will be lost.

A good best man speech should make the groom laugh and choke up

Best man speech tips

Trust me, this is the only one of the best man duties to be nervous of. So follow these tips and I guarantee you will be fine.

• Practise in front of a mirror, in particular speaking loudly and clearly.
• Have note cards with just prompts on them. If you are reading from the full written version you will naturally be projecting your voice downwards so ideally you want to avoid that.
• Record yourself and watch it back. The ideal speaking speed is 140 -160 words per minute.
• Give a test audience a rundown of the risqué jokes in advance. You might think your stories are hilarious, but the brides friends and family might not agree.
• Find out who is doing the speech before you, especially if it’s a bridesmaid as it will overlap. If you can see the content, even better.
• Know the venue. Will sound carry? Will you have a microphone?
• Don’t drink too much beforehand, it will not help, trust me on that.
• Use cue cards with just topics on them to remind yourself of what you planned to say
• Speak to the whole audience, and aim for the back tables.
• If you are feeling nervous, then consider playing this into your speech. Something like “Good evening ladies and Gentlemen, compliment the bride and smile at groom. oh wait, sorry. [Bride] you look amazing, doesn’t she [Groom].” Confronting your nerves head-on will at least take off the pressure.

How long should a best man speech be?

Leave the long rambling speeches to someone else, 5 minutes is ample (around 700 words), 10 minutes maximum. Even if you can deliver comedy gold in every line, people will still tire as it could be 30 minutes of talking by the end of the wedding speeches. As P.T. Barnum probably never said: “Always leave them wanting more”

What is a best man speech supposed to be about?

A best man speech traditionally tells the newlyweds story and raise a final toast to their future. Many cover how the best man met the groom, and it’s also the only opportunity you get to publicly roast your best friend and fire some jokes at his expense. With the introduction of the best woman speech, often they will cover the couple meeting and her friendship with the bride.

Who to toast in a best man speech

The best man delivers the final toast to newly married couples. The traditional line is something like “Please be upstanding and join me in raising a glass to the happy couple – to the Bride and Groom”. But any sort of variation like “To my best friend and his beautiful bride” if completely acceptable.

What is the best man speech structure?

• Have a strong opening line and joke or two.
• Thank the other speakers and compliment the bride and bridesmaids.
• Congratulate the newlyweds on their love and new life together
• Read messages from guests who couldn’t make it
• Formalities over – Talk about the Groom, get your jokes in.
• Propose a toast to the Bride and Groom.