A Comprehensive Groom’s Guide to Wedding Planning
In our recent survey, 80% of Grooms admit to taking a backseat when it comes to wedding planning. Yes, it can be stressful with the pressure to not make a monumental mistake that you will never live down, but as soon as the wedding date is set, your partner will need your help. You don’t need to be a Groomzilla to be helpful and share the pre-wedding tasks. With the right communication, you can ensure you do the task to the required standards expected by your bride-to-be.
You can’t just turn up on the day, cruise through it, and wait for the wedding night fun. There are some jobs expected of the Groom, at minimum for a traditional rather than a destination wedding, and these tend to be:
- Wedding party suits for the Groom, Best Man, Groomsmen and Father of the Bride
- Thank you gifts for the Grooms party
- Wedding present for your fiancée (check out our guide on wedding perfumes for inspiration)
- Music for the day (including the ceremony and the evening entertainment)
- Help with decision-making when it comes to colour themes, catering, choosing vows and reading, finding the right wedding photographer, creating the guest list, arranging the seating plan, etc
- Help with any DIY elements like making decorations, invitations or RSVPs
- Help with the legalities like the marriage license
- Buy thank you gifts for the wedding party
As tempting as it might be to leave it all to your new spouse, you will enjoy watching your bride walk down the aisle towards you knowing she can’t wait to marry you, rather than undertaking your nuptials with no effort on your part. Because a happy wife is a happy life after all.
And remember that every wedding has a budget, so the more you do together the more you save.
So here is a a Groom’s guide to Wedding Planning so you can be helpful and help create a joyous occasion for you both.
Suits you Sir
Arranging the grooms wedding attire is one of the traditional groom responsibilities, including gathering the men together to get fitted and measured, (great for a bit of pre-wedding bonding). This will include the Best Man, all Groomsmen, the Father of the Bride and Groom. But trust me, this is far simpler than the equivalent wedding dress shopping.
There will be a few trips. Firstly, make sure you have a chosen colour theme. Then go with the Bride to your local wedding suit rental company to try some on and make sure she is happy with your choice before you get the gang down for suit fittings. If possible, bring any locals to try on the groomsmen’s suits to help create the group vision.
Depending if a winter or summer wedding, have a think about suit material (wool is thicker so more suited to the colder weather), decide if going two or three-piece (the latter includes a waist-coast which always ups the suit game, then pick style.
Top and tails is a traditional and very formal style of dress, which includes wearing a top hat and a long jacket. Depending on your venue, this is likely OTT plus it might not suit everyone.
One you’ve settled on style, it’s then down to colour which needs to complement the Bridesmaids dresses. Usual picks for base colour are Black, Grey, and Navy Blue, with the colour accents coming from the shirt, tie, waistcoat, pocket square, cummerbund, boutonnieres etc.
There is an art to colour matching your wedding suit with the shoes, as well as the wedding colour theme. So every choice should be done with the blessing of the Bride and do not do a surprise outfit on the day, although you can have fun with socks and cufflinks as these won’t get seen in the main wedding pictures.
Some quick terminology to get you up to speed:
- Tuxedo: A formal suit worn for formal or black tie affairs. Consists of a black or midnight blue single-breasted jacket with matching trousers, a white or ivory wing-tipped shirt, and a black bow tie.
- Two-piece: Suit trousers and jacket
- Three-piece: Suit trousers, waistcoat and jacket
- Cummerbund: A broad sash worn around the waist, usually made of silk or satin and typically worn with a tuxedo.
- Waistcoat: A sleeveless, waist-length buttoned vest garment, usually made of wool or velvet, that is worn over a shirt and under a suit jacket.
- Top and Tails: A top hat and tailcoat
- Tailcoat: A formal coat with long tails at the back, usually worn with a white vest and trousers.
- Tie: A long necktie, usually black or midnight blue, worn with a tuxedo or dinner jacket.
- Bow Tie: A type of necktie in the shape of a bow, usually made of silk or satin, and worn with a dress suit.
- Morning Suit: A type of dress suit, with a long, double-breasted coat, made of wool and usually worn with a vest and trousers, typically for weddings and other important occasions.
- Pocket Square: A small cloth, typically made of silk or satin, that is folded and placed in the breast pocket of a suit jacket.
- Cut: The silhouette of a suit jacket, ranging from relaxed to slim.
- Lapel: The fold of fabric that runs from the collar of a jacket to the button.
- Double-Breasted: A jacket that overlaps with two columns of buttons and has wider lapels.
- Trouser: The bottom half of a suit, typically worn with a belt.
- Cuff: The additional fabric at the bottom of the trouser leg.
- Pleats: Fabric folds that run down the front of the trouser leg.
- Oxford Shoes: A type of formal shoe characterized by shoelace eyelets tabs that are attached under the vamp, a feature termed “closed lacing”. They are typically brogues constructed of leather and are traditionally black or brown.
- Boutonnière: Decorative flower, typically a single bloom, worn pinned to the lapel of a suit jacket or other formal attire.
Pick your Groomsmen
Choosing your best man and groomsmen is another job for the groom . However, your fiancée may have strong opinions about the people you involve in your special day. Your best man is likely someone you’ve known a long time, rather than the best talker. The speech may be the most memorable part, but the best mans role is a lot more than that and organising a stag do.
The Groomsmen are usually close relatives or friends. Make sure to cherish your friends, family, and old acquaintances reuniting to celebrate with you the impending wedding and rekindling any bromance.
Pick the right music
Music is a key element of every wedding day, and while the Bride will pick the song for walking down the aisle, signing the register, and the exit, the pre-ceremony will be down to the Groom. This will be when your guests are sitting in wait, so it’s suggested to be romantic background music at a suitable volume. Word of advice, make sure the playlist has an extra hour for any delays. While you can choice some live acoustic music at the wedding ceremony, but be wary they can’t play continuously and will need breaks.
Depending on other entertainment chosen, you may also need music for other points in time, including the wedding dinner (volume is key to ambience here) and when you are having your couple photo’s taken. Either way, we have listed some great wedding day songs here. You might want to practise your moves before hitting the dance floor, it is your moment to shine with your new wife as the centre of attention after all.
The wedding reception is when everything comes alive, and after the first dance it should be party time. You can either have live wedding bands or a DJ who can read the flow, mood and atmosphere of the room better, or have a chosen dance playlist.
Unleash your inner foodie
Most grooms are instrumental in choosing what food is served at the wedding reception, usual custom is a choice of three (two meat, one vegetarian) plus desserts and appetizers. The groom can also decide what type of beverages to be served at the event, such as alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks but give a wide selection to suit everyone. If you are a fan, you can serve craft beer at the wedding.
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